sinner

I let out my breath to the sky

The red sunset must have entered my eyes

I keep rubbing them, but it doesn’t go away

I try to hold it in, but it keeps hurting and hurting

If something happens to me, know that it’s your fault

Because you wanted bad things to happen to me

If you meet some one else,hope you will be unhappy

I’ll pray for it

I try to erase you and our memories,

but it still feels like you’re by my side and the memories play non stop,

It feels like you’re the only thing I can’t forget

I’ll let go of everything else

I curse myself for being so stupid

A sinner who loved you

Whoever’s next to you now

Whoever’s laughing instead of me

How much better than me can she be

Why’d you leave me, when I know you and only you

The memories of you slowly drift away

Even though I call you, you never turn back to look at me

Your name, your lips

Like being locked up in jail

Forever

I think I’ll blame you

Our promise, meaningless regret

I tossed and turned all night

My side

It feels like you’re there

Never

I don’t think I can forget you

Choice

It’s the very end

A sinner who loved you

bolllaaaaa~!!

gmbr

aku tau nape adik aku lagi reti pakai slr.....bengong tul...die xde la pg kelas che mad pun....xpe2....abis sem nie leh la aku lak blagak kat die...wakakkaakakakaka

semue gmbr nie die yg tangkap....:D...

trip to medan~~~let picture tell the storyyyy

day 1

time kat airport...semue muke ngantok....flight lak kul 8...kene gerak kul 6.45...waaaa...nk bgn agi...nk mandi...siap2....huhhh...byg kn bgn kul brape....

wit my bakal kakak ipar

wit my lil bro....ahhh...so full wit kepoyoaan~!!!

sampai je kat medan...terus pg lake toba....the best *so far yg penah pg* place la...about lake toba ni...dekat lake nie ade few pulau...n ade satu pulau tu lebih besar dari Singapore....
ok so far normal kn....
the best part.......
tasik nie...kat dlm bekas gunung brapi...kirenyer...lepas all the lava dah selesai kuar...die ade tinggal kn mcm lubang....sooo lepas dah penuh ngan air..n lava die jadi keras then turn into pulau....
*ayat mcm dah pening dah nie...phm2 kn je la*...
n perimeter for this pulau is 8++ km.....
amazing kn2.....

atas one of the pulau dlm tasik tu...

wit my mummmm

all the foodddd.....
kat cnie...i think...the fooddddd...issss sooooo...yammy...setiap kali mkn mesti ade nasik....soooo...best gak la....n lauk die....erm.....wow~!!!....seriusly....xtipuuuu..

if kat msia, soto is mcm kuah di mcm sup ayam then nasi impit kn...kat ctu lak..soto mcm dlm pic nie...taste die mmg sedap gler....
semue air buah kat cnie..using pure buah...no cordial...tu yg sakit tekak bile dah sampai cnie...pekat gler but sedap2....

gmbr nie lak sebenarnye lemang n kaya..lemang die cukup lembut n berlemak..sedap gler2....n dip ngan kaya...sedap gler2.....mmg rase sedap gler....mkn bende nie time nk g lake toba...coz perjalanan die dlm 4 jam...

sampai je kat lake toba n dah check in semue..terus tido....then g mkn...then tido blk...wakkakakka

the 2nd day

pg2 tu g breakfast... then activity ade lah round g pulau batak *tmpt org dulu2...puak yg mkn org*....naik bot....erm...best gak la...hehehhe...

my 1st bro as camerman....

pagi2 dah buat muke sengal....*2nd n last sibling*

cukup sengal k.chuk...

on the bottt....

me n her....so closeee

the pulau batak....org yg bwk kiteorg jln2 ckp...msk pulau nie...mulut kene jage..n tangan tu jgn dow pandai2 nk sentuh sane cnie....kat pulau tu gak..kurang technology bcoz of adat dorang kuat sesgt....xnk terime technology lagi...even rumah penginapan tuk pelancong pun xde kat atas pulau tu....even dah xde adat mkn org lagi but peralatan n tmpt tu msih ade...n dorang gak masih pecaye pada penunggu kat tasik tu..setiap tahun mesti ade pergorbanan binatang tuk penunggu di pulau tu...selalu nyer lembu...

nnti2 aku smbg yg 2nd nyer lak...mmg malas gler nk smbg...serius~!!!!!!....argh~!!!!

deep inside me

thing that i done n said....
i know it hurt...

but

understand my feeling...
see the truth from my eyes...
put ur feet in my shoes...
feel what i felt...
hear what i heard...
think from my side...
replace urself in me...

then

u will see...
there no point on hurting each other...
no need to ask for forgiveness because we will say sorry by ourselves without any force...
face each other to tell the truth...
solve the problem so we can remain friend...

the result

our friendship will become more stronger...
we understand each other more...
it might last long...

and

most important thing...
i dont want to lose u

because

u are my friend...
i care bout u...

so

the best thing i could do...
is to say...


sorry for everything, my friend~

sebuah post~!!!

dulu ade yg penah ckp..xsemue yg kite nk kite dpt...tapi bg aku...itu xmengape lagi..sbb kite tau kite xdpt....kite tau bende tu bkn milik kite..walaupun mungkin kite dah cube...mmg sakit tu masih ade lagi...xkisah la ape pun..bile kite nk but xdpt...mmg la sakit...normal tu...tapi cube banding kn dgn klu kite ditipu...mcm mane agak2 sakit tu..kite ditipu dlm keadaan yg kite sangke xmungkin akn ditiupu..dgn kate lain..depan2 kite, die tipu kite...huhuhuhu...pada sape yg xpenah kene..byg kn la...klu pisau ditoreh2 kat hati tu...mcm tu la sakit nyer...mungkin ade yg pk terlalu over die nyer bandingan..tapi pada sape yg penah kene..mesti phm...dan mungkin bandingan tu pun xseberape...

kesedihan,kesakitan,kekecewaan....semue berpunce bile diri ini ditipu..caye la...andai kate bg tau awal2..pasti xkn jadi mcm nie..dan mcm dulu..dlm one of my post...jgn la duk judge KEMATANGAN org tu base on UMUR...sape yg wat mcm tu..diri sendiri yg xmatang...hahhaha...dan jgn memandai nk mengajar klu diri sendiri xbetul lagi...mengajar dgn menasihati lain...huhuh..pecaye la..lain sesgt...mengajar...mcm ko tu dah betul sesgt..dan ko yakin care ko tu betul dan semue org tau bende tu betul..menasihati lak....dlm mase ko nasihat org lain..ko igt kn diri ko gak...dan plg penting skali...JGN LA KATE SEMPENE HARI JADI AKU...ko nk bg PENGAJARAN tuk aku JADI MATANG....lawak dow..lawak gler2...hahah..andai kate ko tu matang sgt...hahhhh....jgn di duekn kekasih hati...huhuhuu...betul x....hahhhh....ye la...org yg matang *bg aku la eh*..xkn wat perkare CHILDISH...mcm xkn la nk main2 kn hati org lain...betul x...tah la..aku mungkin salah...huhuh..xnk bg ALASAN2 BODO...hahaha...hurmmm..

..hahhh...ade la kn..."dorang2" yg igt aku xtau, igt aku tau * the truth * dlm mase beberape jam..tlg la...aku dah tau agak lame..cume aku xpasti...then aku ni pk +ve ckit..pk..xlah..xkn la..padahal..semue yg aku pk tu..semue nyer betul...wakakakka...aku rase mcm..ya allah, andai kate aku tau la ape yg aku pk tu betul..mmg dah lame la aku buang dorang semue tu dari idup aku..sbb alih2 aku gak yg kene..yg sakit..tapi xpe...ade kawan aku lak kate *kawan aku yg dulu "dorang2" nie kutuk gak*...kate mungkin nie ujian tuk aku tahu idup bkn sesenangan yg aku sangke..ade lagi ayt die but aku lak mcm pening nk tulis...die kate..byk la bersabar...sbb time kene tu mmg sakit..but idup nie penuh ngan dugaan dan cabaran..so kene la phm...mayb ini mmg pengajaran bg aku tuk phm XSEMUE YG BAIK DPN AKU, BAIK LAH dan XSEMUE YG JAHAT DPN AKU, JAHAT LAH....so ngan kate lain JGN JUDGE ORG LAIN BY 1ST LOOK...

selalunye bile ade bende2 yg happen...mesti org lain pk aku xtau pape..aku xphm pape..aku ter lalu XMATANG tuk TAU PAPE la...aku tu aku ni..bla..bla..bla...so far...aku tau pasal BENDE ni hmpir semue...n ade la ayt dlm ym aku..yg aku plg suke..

"tp kalo kebenaran disebalik kebenaran tuh....mayb laa lebih menyakitkan"

"kdg2...disebalik kebenaran ade la alasan yg nk bela diri sendiri"

dari due ayat nie..ape yg aku nk ckp ialah...bile kite dah tau mengenai satu kebenaran...pasti yg terlibat akn cter sebalik nyer....hahhh...yg sebalik nye tu la dipanggil ALASAN...ye laaa...bile dah tau diri salah..mesti la nk tegak kn benang yg basah...huhhu..normal3...TAPI YG XLEH BLA...konon nyer nk nmpk kn diri tu baik kot..tah la...xleh nk bace ape yg dorang pk kn..klu leh bace dah lame...bende2 nie xkn happen....boleh lak bg ayat mcm suruh aku salah kn dorang....weii..ayat tu mcm diri tu dah XDE POINT NK DEFEND DIRI SENDIRI...ke mmg dah xde xleh nk defend then takut...sbb tu bg ayat mcm tu..hahahhaha...mungkin kot..ye la..hahhaha...bg aku atleast bile dorang nk defend diri sendiri *walaupun aku xkn caye ayat2 yg kuar dari mulut dorang* but mcm kawan aku ckp..atleast nampak mcm dorang nk cube betul kn keadaan and mayb ade la perkataan MINTA MAAF tu KELUAR DARI MULUT YG TIKAM BELAKANG AKU NIE..tapi bile aku pk blk dgn pkiran yg dah x dibelenggu ngan perasaan marah..mungkin dorang mmg nk keadaan mcm nie...mngkin dorang mmg dah xnk defend so that aku xkn tegur dorang....mayb la....but mcm betul je...huhuh...dorang create situation yg buat aku X AKAN tegur dorang....n dorang suke dgn KEADAAN mcm tu...

aku xtau nape sampai skrg aku xleh nk ilang kn perasaan marah nie...mungkin sbb aku xpecaye ngan ape yg berlaku...mungkin gak aku xsangke bende nie leh happen..mungkin la...so aku still marah...aku xtau sampai bile aku akn terus *BERTEGUR SAPE NGAN DORANG*....but mayb akn ade one day...yg akn back to normal dari luaran....n aku xkn la nk baik mcm dulu2...setakat tegur2 tu ok...but more then that...aku rase xkot...ade la yg bg nasihat kat aku...

klu org tu tau dpn tu ade lubang sbb 1st time lalu dah jatuh

xkn 2nd time akn lalu jalan yg same...

oleh sbb kn aku xnk jadi bende happen skali lagi...lebih baik aku elak kn...huhuhuh...tul x...kn3?....

lame lak aku type bende nie...n lame gak aku simpan post nie dlm draft...

bg aku lepas aku kene mcm nie....one thing yg aku learn....

DONT BOTHER TO THINK WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK ABOUT U
JUST IGNORE IT
and
THINK WHAT BEST FOR U N URSELF~!!

braces + hp baru = cuti

erm..yeahhh....finally wear it...waaaa..

patut nyer after spm...but sum prob occur..so xleh nk wat pape...waaaaa....

sakit..cuak..takut..semue ade la...terbaik...



permulaan...



mama: ok la ayin *panggilan umah..huhuh* dah blk

me : mmg la akn blk ma..kn cuti~...waaa..best2...xde keje nk wat..*padahal
berlambak..df,cg..exam math lagi....*

mama: ooo....kirenyer xde pape la nie...keje yg pokok2 tu dah siap *mama maksudkn df*
yg ikan gerak2 tu *mama maksud kn cg nyer keje..hahhaha...lawak seh mama nie*

me : erm.....dah la ckit...*sambil tahan gelak*

mama: owh..ok...nie mama dah siap kn all the oppmnt ayin ngan dentist..

me : hahhhh...wat for...mama xbg tau pape pun..nape kene jumpe doc..*takut ngan dentist
since kecik la..tu la tgk lagi cter the dentist*

mama: sbb mama n abah nk ayin pakai braces for this cuti...

me : WAT!??!?!?!!?.....seriously maa??...waaaa...awat xbg tau awal2.....alallalalal....sakit kot..
mentally x prepare pape kot mama...alalaalalalal...maaaaaa.....

mama: so xnk wat ker?..klu xnk mama leh je cancel kn..

me : ala mama nie..dah bayar deposit pastu wat org sebe salah...like it or not i have to do rite
kn3?....hurmmm...buat je la....

mama: ok then nanti selase mama bwk g jumpe dentist...

me : *otak dah byg kn cter final dentination ngan the dentist...terbaik!!!*

thennnnnn

blablablablablablablablablablabla.....

for 1 week..xmkn makanan solid..*Sungguh menyamapahhhhhhhhh...*...asik2 bubur2....xpun minum air yg mengenyangkn such as milo...

sakit die...ya allah..sakit glerrrrrrrrrrr....huhhhh...

nasib baik la xnagis...mane leh..nanti kene bhn.....xleh2.....

doc said i must wear it atleast 2 year...*dah tau but saje je wat muke suprice dpn doc tu*....

gler ar....2 gigi kene cabut...huhuh.*ok gak la...sbb ade yg kene lebih..*

ok...mmg la kn ade sakit semue kn..hahhaahah...

the best part....


mlm khamis tu...huhuh

abah: ayin turun jap*time tu aku kat blk...tgh menahan kesakitan...konon yer*

me : jap

mama: cepat laaaaa...

me : jap la...kkk...

taq*my lil bro*: abis la akak....

me : *ape salah aku lak nie...erm semue keje wat...ape la nie*

dekat ruang tamu bawah...

along : tu la along dah ckp...xyah tapi mama n abah nk gak tgk la ayin nie mcm mane..hah...sape
gak yg susah...

mama: mane la mama tau..

abah: *in diam mode...selalu nyer tu tande abah marah*

me : ape nie long..ape cter....

along: ye ar...ko blk susah kn mama n abah...sape yg xbengang

me : eh..ape yg ayin dah buat...mane ade pape....

along: ye ar xde pape...nie along yg kene jadi driver tau x...

me : driver tuk ape(abg aku nie mmg xleh klu nk mnx tlg hantar semue...alasan die, sbb malas nk drive...klu xnk drive..xyah la duk amik lesen tu)..ayin mane ade suruh along antar ke pape...

along: ye ar...jadi driver tuk beli hp baru ko..

me :*blur*....erm...hp baru...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....nk tgk2...

sengal dow abg aku tu...mmg sesengal alam...hahhaha..hapy gak ar aku.....hapy3...

abah ckp tu sbb mama n angah n along beli hp baru..so beli la tuk aku nyer skali..hhahahah...best ar...dpt pakai brace*walaupun xnk sgt la*...n hp baru..hahhaah...sengal dow abg aku tu..nasib baik la die abg...hahhahahahaha......

ok la this cuti....aku rase mcm eh dah ahad dah...n aku smbg cuti till selase...sbb ade oppmnt for final pakai braces nie...habis dah la..xde dah muke cute aku..lepas nie dah xcute dah...hahahahaha.....